Rediscovering Wonder

Wonder. It's what children experience on a regular basis as they take in the new world around them. They view the world with a curiosity and amazement that becomes lost when they become adults.

Today I tried out a new church. It was in a beautiful building both inside and out. And on the inside it was filled with the elderly. The service was a lot more on the liturgical side than I regularly experience, but the feeling of unified devotion filled me with wonder. Having come from a religious background that values personal expression and individuality over the corporate, sitting in a liturgical service was very refreshing.

Now I am in no way against, clapping, shouting and dancing in church, as these are all fitting expressions of worship, but I must confess that in the spectacle, I forgot what it was to simply reflect on the Father in quiet devotion. There was a sacredness and an order to the way things were carried out, and a certain beauty to it that I haven't experienced in some time.

Today was also the first time in almost 8 years that I prayed the Lord's prayer in a religous service. We also sang old sacred music, and it was beautiful. It was all so beautiful. It was a beauty that drove me to tears. Why I wept, I don't completely understand. Perhaps I had forgotten what beauty was in church, in an effort to make everything practical and intellectual. I'm not against these things, but in the reasoning and criticism, I lost sight of the beauty that is the bride of Christ, the church body.

I remember my days as a young Christian long ago, when everything was so new to me. When I first discovered Christ, it was like seeing the world in a new way. I didn't read my Bible - I devoured it. All the words and teachings of Jesus, the apostles, the prophets came alive to me. But the deeper I got into religious insititutions the more I lost my sense of wonder in my faith, getting caught up in the political, intellectual, and practical. I lost my joy. I lost my hope. And I didn't even notice it disappeared.

While I know that life can be tough and emotions can change, my prayer is that I may not lose sight of the beauty and the mystery that is Christ in his incarnation and resurrection.