I sigh and shake my head at you, life.
Well, I'm making money now. It's going into unforseen expenses, meaning that I'm living tighter than I was before even though I am making more. All these "surprise" fees are really frustrating.
My relational situation kinda sucks now. ORU friends are pretty much all gone. And the lifestyle I now lead doesn't really have room for the other friendships I have. They all want to hang out late and eat out all the while complaining about why they don't make enough money at their jobs, why they can't stand their bosses/coworkers, or feel sorry for themselves that they don't have jobs in the first place... I can't stand being around them anymore because they're irresponsible and lazy and have no sense of direction.
Yet, why I have associated myself with them gives me the impression that perhaps I'm not too different, in the sense that I'm not exactly sure where I'm going either. That too was a lifestyle that I've led and it's very easy for me to fall back into it.
But I've realized that complaining about my status and not taking responsibility for my current state of affairs is not productive. I'd like to think that I'm proactive, but I wonder if I can do more.
I need new friends who actually enjoy their lives and talk about things that actually matter. I wonder where I can find those. I want to enjoy my life and not get wrapped up in the mundane. If the main thing on my mind is bills and survival, then maybe I'm not truly living yet.
My Prayer: God, please help me find some better relationships. And help me to be more mindful of my priorities and my time. Help me to be more disciplined. Help me also to not be so hard on myself. Teach me how to reach out to others again. Help me to keep my focus on you. Amen
